i'll be your mirror

What's up homies? Well. I know from my blog entries it kind of seems like I'm an alcoholic bimbo, but that would be wrong. And also judgmental, you assholes!

Anyway...in actuality I am working towards a university degree (by correspondence, as not to aggravate my social ineptitude on an actual campus, with other people). Am actually getting a little excited about university starting up again this semester, as it will give me something to think about in my spare time so I don't accidentally go insane.

Although I'm not studying any English literature classes this semester (which will feel a bit weird), I am definitely looking forward to studying Nutrition and Art History. Provided I can juggle two classes alongside full-time work and salsa dancing. Ooh, I want to learn French as well, and purchase those language CD's, and a little microphone to speak into...

Well. That was a little bit of a spiel. But it's cool for you guys to know that there is more to me, am not a life waster or anything like that. Alright. I'm going out to grab some noodles for dinner.

it's my wife and it's my life

I stayed out with some party people until the sun came up last night. It is the strangest thing when the nightclubs begin to close in the early hours of the morning; they really should be open all hours to accommodate scoundrels like us, who freeze in the brisk morning air in flimsy clothing designed for hot sweaty nightclubs, close contact and frenzied dancing. We caught the bus home in the morning, delicate stomachs and all, alongside all the weekend workers heading in for the morning shift.

I need some sleep. I'm alone in my bedroom, again (sometimes a sharehouse can be a surprisingly lonely affair when you don't feel you fit in all that well). Listening to The Velvet Underground's "Heroin."

Another photograph of me! Aren't you all just so lucky. I need a haircut.

we won't stop until somebody calls the cops

Good morning.

Well, it appears that I have exhausted myself from last night's crazy adventures. Woke up with a sore neck (fell asleep upright on the couch earlier by accident) and bathed in sweat (overdosed on Redbull). So today I aspire to sleep, eat some fruit and a corn cob that I've been saving for a special occasion, read some much neglected novels and watch episode after episode of "Gossip Girl." It's so calming!

Also family dinner tonight, which will be fun. These days, if I don't go out for dinner, I don't eat. I really should get used to that "regular groceries" business I hear so much about.

let's get it started

It is Friday: the holiest of holy days now that I have a proper office job. So I am going to go out to a club, wear a little dress, big boots, smear some make-up on my eyelids and get messed up. It really is the most fun way to forget all my problems for one night.

i'm not a real doctor but i am a real worm

I figure that the celebrations and general looseness of the festive season can be reasonably extended until the end of January, when it is my birthday, because there is really no point in celebrating the new year and then only have a couple of weeks gap before the next celebration. Useless. So, until the beginning of February, I have decided that I am allowed indulge in my vices, which may or may not include:

(1) Drinking a lot of wine and getting quietly tiddly by myself in the corner until I eventually fall asleep and wake up with the driest mouth on Earth.

(2) Purposely getting hyped up on chocolate coated coffee beans and cans of Redbull before being disappointed when I can't sleep very well, and then waking up with my heart still racing.

(3) Spending all my dollars on clothing that I love but can never really bring myself to wear because they are too beautiful and delicate and unique and imagine if some asshole carelessly spilled a raspberry vodka down the front of that extremely lovely extremely expensive beige dress? Just no.

- Eating a single egg for dinner because I just got home from work and I have no groceries except for a crinkly old carrot in the fridge that I should really have thrown out a week ago but it's the only vegetable on my shelf so it's staying there for aesthetic reasons.

self portrait

I just have this feeling that this year is going to be a good one.

let your hips do the talking

So last night a bunch of us went out to get raucous in the city, as you do, and my brother totally got punched in the eye! But he's okay. We're all fine and happy now.
I spent today frail and hungover at my parents' eating crepes and fruit, and eventually fell asleep on the couch for a full four hours during a film. Now I am back at my apartment, have carefully washed my face, cleaned my teeth, taken my habitual evening fish oil tablets, and will don my satin eye mask for a night of uninterrupted slumber in order to repair my freshly damaged cells. Goodnight!

have you ever been experienced

The beginning of the new decade is freaking me out. It's already the 6th of January, I'm turning twenty at the end of the month, I don't know what to expect, I don't know what kind of changes I will undertake, I don't know if the world could come crashing down and I'm fucking scared.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go and wash my face so I can go to bed. Have to be clean.

Picture is of Patti Smith.

you were not the same after that

Why hello there, pretty lace shirt! I must have spent a couple hundred dollars today on clothes, shoes and perfume...mighty fucking indulgent. I had better cut back because soon I will have no money left for necessities such as food, rent or university textbooks. I forget that I don't have a trust fund sometimes.

goals for 2010

It's 2010, people! Okay, so this post will probably be of little interest to anyone who isn't me, as they are just my personal resolutions, but blogging is a quick way to get my ideas down and it's something for me to look back on. Here goes...

(1) Have fun this year. After the epic seriousness of last year I'm completely ready to get silly and just have a good time. Need to keep in touch with the fun people, party more, dance dance dance, be more reckless and stay positive.

(2) Be sartorially awesome. I want to look fabulous at all times! This goal will need to include the purchase of more shoes at the post-Christmas sales tomorrow with Mummy Fifi, and the wearing of more outrageous jewellry. I don't really know which look I want to go for this year though...grungy? Preppy? Super crazy alien ala Alexander McQueen? Who knows.

(3) Stay pescetarian. I ate some meat at Christmas because it looked delicious and I made an exception for myself, but I'm not completely dying for it now. I think I will just happily float along with my seafood, vegetables, tofu, soy milk and nuts. It's all good. An addition in the same category of this goal is to cook more (something besides soup in a can), drink more water and not eat out of boredom.

(4) Grow my hair long. I want long messy hair because then I can just wake up and go!

(5) Impress people at my new job. I've been warned that my first week (beginning Monday!) will be hell on Earth, but I plan to stick it out. I don't know how well I will cope with the 9-5 grind, but I figure that I can just have some fun extra curricular activities lined up for the after-work hours. I have some cute outfits to wear, there is a coffee machine, and casual Fridays actually exist. It's going to be okay.

(6) Do well at my studies. I just have to keep plugging away at my degree, even though I will probably be super-busy this year with work (and hopefully some weekend shenanigans, in alignment with Resolution #1). Next semester I am studying nutrition as an elective, so I'm kind of excited about that because it's something that I have quite the interest in.

(7) Get my driver's licence. I've been working on this one for a while but 2010 is going to be the year that I am on the road (as in, driving a car, not roadkill).

like oh my god

Happy New Year everybody! I am now sitting in my bedroom sweating out copious amounts of caffeine, nicotine and THC, the balcony is flooded with spilt wine and vodka, there are Red Bull cans everywhere, the ashtrays are overflowing and the hammock has been completely shredded...all signs of a successful night. So much fun.

Going to my parents tonight for some recovery in the form of Mum's cooking (seafood crepes for dinner and trifle for dessert) and lounging in front of the television. Sounds good to me.

when you were young

Well, I have established myself in my new residence. There was a lot of sweat, some tears, and only a minimal amount of blood (my dad pulled a splinter out of his finger halfway through the move). I now have a queen-sized futon, which is huge and luxurious and flat, and a clothes rack for all my pretty dresses, and today I even purchased a desk for my laptop and television. There is also a tiny kitten that is unfortunately also a psychopath...I was putting mascara on this morning in the bathroom and it was fascinated, and it tried to grab the brush with its greedy little paws, and I got it on my cheek. Living the dream, my friends. Living the dream.

I have insane cravings for junk food right now (chocolate, potato chips!) but all I have on my allocated shelf are Vitawheats and gluten-free muesli, so that will just have to do. No, wait; I have enlisted my companions to collect an ice-cream for me from the cinema when they go...so I should have it around midnight when they get home. Excellent.

baby please come home

I hope everyone had a great Christmas!

In the family tradition, I ate way too much and fell asleep for a colossal four hours on Christmas Day before waking up groggily and eating some more pudding and brandy custard for late dinner. Totally awesome. Also super sweet to have my grandparents here.

Boxing Day was spent thankfully not working (quit my retail job, son!) and instead spent lounging around happily with my family. We migrated to a relative's house where there was an abundance of leftover food, biscuits, cake, coffee and wine, so we stayed for quite a while chatting and laughing. It was raining, and we were outside on their lovely big wooden deck where I had the best coffee of my life!...I just felt I had to tell someone about it.

Then Mitchell came over and we made ourselves sick on leftover trifle and custard, and watched "Dexter" episodes until midnight. Overall, I would say that the festive season has been a great success.

Also, stay tuned: the next phase of my life is about to begin- I'm moving out, for realz.

they're spreading blankets on the beach

It's Christmas Eve! Tonight my plans may or may not include: eating a delicious dinner with my family, getting slightly wasted at the dinner table without anyone noticing (sorry Grandma, it's a tough time of year!), lying on the floor with music on in the dark,writing and drawing in my journal, wearing a Santa hat, thinking about my current situation- the ups and the downs! And making a new life plan...

This picture is from last Christmas, which seems like only yesterday...

i can't find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful

I have been having all kinds of fun lately.

I've been working some crazy hours in the lead-up to Christmas, spending my super precious spare time with the most excellent people ever, going to some parties and eating some seafood dinners, and staying out way too late way too often. But I'm having fun and that's what counts...a can of Red Bull never hurt anyone. Except that guy who drank seven cans and died from a heart attack, but that's just kind of overdoing it.

These pictures are from Mitchell's party the other night...hello Jodie! Hello Florence! Hello bottle of tequila!! Well. It is well and truly time to party...when I'm just too tired to care, the only thing left to do is shots with strangers wearing a sombrero...it was a Mexican theme.

when i press the keys it all gets reversed

I want a bottle of wine and a packet of cigarettes...and it's only midday. So much to think about lately when all I really want to do is go to parties, drink too much and not know where I'm going to wind up in the morning.

this is when i forget to breathe and all the things i scripted they sound unfounded

I am in a crazy state right now...

I'm just sitting here in my dark room listening to Death Cab For Cutie and seriously thinking about things. It's almost as though I'm living in this completely surreal dream right now and I can't tell what's real or not, or what I've done and said or what I've only ever imagined. I'm scared, but I'm just letting it wash all over me...

my life is about to go through some big changes:

(1) I am moving to the apartment next week (spending tonight quietly watching television with my family and browsing through futon websites).

(2) I nervously quit my job and am starting an insurance job at the beginning of next year.

(3) My love life has been turned upside-down and shaken violently...

(4) One of my best friends in the world (pictured) is going to Mexico for six months and I will miss him SO badly.

(5) I am turning twenty extremely soon, meaning that I will no longer be a teenager and will have to stop behaving like a scumbag. I seriously have to clean my teeth every day? People won't laugh if I make a poo joke?

(6) The year 2009 is coming to a close extremely fast.

Everything is happening...it's overwhelming. I'm on such a rollercoaster of happy and sad right now. I have no idea what the new year will bring but I hope it's something good...? I have a feeling it could be.

movin' on up

So it appears that I am moving out in approximately two weeks. I will miss my little sister a lot. Whatever will I do without the dance-offs whilst doing the dishes, or being able to give her the finger across the table at a crowded family dinner in a restaurant?

She's the best.

men becoming wolves

I went to the cinema and saw "Paranormal Activity" with Jamal and the hype is true: it is really fucking disturbing!! In a good way. You want to keep watching out of morbid curiousity, but you don't want to become more frightened than you already are because you might wet your pants, and then it's just kind of awkward.

Also I kind of wanted to vomit...but that was probably caused more by the shaky handheld-camera style of filming they used rather than gore (of which there was little). And also I had consumed half a litre of apple and mint juice just before watching, which may have been a contributing factor to the nausea. But enough about vomit!

 This is my "business time" dress. I wear it when I need to be taken seriously. Obviously these photographs do not illustrate the seriousness of the dress, but I practically have a hernia from coughing and I'm delirious from my Codeine tablets so just whatever okay. It's a nice dress.

I am so busy right now, and I am about to get much busier...exciting news coming up! In the meantime, I am going to drink some green tea and watch "30 Rock," as I have contracted some sort of chest infection and am taking some recovery time. For Christmas, I would like Tina Fey's brain transplanted into my head. Too weird?

Okay well I have work to do. See you later bitches.