do you want to have a slumber party in my basement

Hello sweet bloggers,

It appears that I am back on the happy wagon, at least temporarily. This is directly related to the fact that I took a risk on the weekend, and asked out someone who I have fancied for a while now. I don't quite know the outcome of my risk-taking yet (as there are some factors influencing the decision, it's kind of weird, maybe best not to ask), but I feel good that I tried. In fact, it probably won't work out. Fingers crossed, because this person is lovely and gorgeous. But I will be okay whatever happens.

Even if sometimes the things I do just end with me falling on my face, I figure that at least I won't have regrets for the things that I didn't try. Also, I will have a big bank of funny stuff for when I have kiddies, and I can tell them stories, and they will think that I am just as awesome as they originally suspected based on my chic but interesting dress sense and quick wit.

So. This good mood may or may not last very long depending on a certain someone, but for now I'm running around the house with bare feet, feeling too jumpy to eat anything substantial, and will laugh at anything. I am high on life. And in light of my special mood, I even painted my nails a sweet glittery eggshell colour, and took a photograph of them for you.

How lovely.

my best judgement signed its resignation

Good morning bloggers, or afternoon, although I have only been awake for an hour,

It was Friday night last night, a night of celebrations and forgetting that I have to crawl back into the office in a couple of days time. As per usual I went out dancing with friends and it was a lot of fun. We did shots at the bar, I wore ridiculously high stillettos with heels as thin as pins (I nearly broke my ankle about six times last night), we tore up the dance floor, we walked around, and I somewhat reconciled things with the previously mentioned bouncer at the pub (even helping with pub security by wriggling into the little guard platform to stand next to him. I'm so annoying).

I woke up this morning bleary eyed and dry-mouthed, with two of my stinky male friends plus my twin brother in his less than hygienic bedroom (I'm talking empty tuna cans, and tobacco trodden into the carpet), but at least I had a place to stay. I have been known to stay out until the buses start running again in the morning to avoid the ludicrous cab fare back to my house.

The picture below depicts me, taken about five minutes ago. Behind me, stuck to the wall, is a piece of paper with all my uni readings on it. I am approximately five weeks behind on this schedule. I have approximately seven hours until I have to dress up, get out to the city and repeat last night all over again. The race is on. Wish me luck.

gravitating towards a taste

I am exhausted and sick, again! This blog is becoming nothing more than a list of my various symptoms and illnesses, which is not exactly what I envisioned when I launched a blog. Sorry everyone! I'll pipe down about my need for sleep, the sudden clogging of my nostrils and perpetual dopey state due to a cloudy head. Too many cold and flu tablets perhaps?

I spent Tuesday night happily at dinner with some male companions (again at the favourite restaurant), had some tofu ramen, then headed to my favourite Irish pub. I threw back some vodka sodas, carelessly disregarding the telltale signs of an impending viral infection, and we went driving for a little while, and I landed myself in bed. The next morning I awoke, stumbled to the shower, got dressed, and decided somewhere between eating my morning bagel and taking my daily vitamins that I would not be going to work that day. So I went back to bed and slept, all day long.

I trudged to work today, and no-one wanted to come near me in case I was contagious, and then I came home and had a fight with my parents (I got a tad overly emotional and upset due to lack of sleep and general lack of wellbeing), and now I'm here, fuming and slightly sick to my stomach, in front of ye olde laptop.

Apologies for "nothing" entry and arrogant look in photographs. I think that's just how my face rolls.

she'll bartend your party

Things were good for a little while and now they have become decidedly mediocre again. I hate it when things become ordinary, as opposed to exciting and hopeful. My coping strategies when things don't go how I planned is:

(1) Eat something small that I enjoy. Too much or too unhealthy just means that I panic about nutritional value, but just enough can take the edge off a bad day. Usually I resort to a glass of Milo with skim milk, or I like to have these little crackers with goats cheese on them, or just then I made a bit of porridge with sliced banana and rice milk. Or, you know, getting massively drunk and doing something embarrassing. Like how I semi hit on the (shall we say) slightly older bouncer at my favourite pub on the weekend, and now I can never return. Ever. Sorry, friends. I know it was our favourite haunt since we reached the legal drinking age, but we'll have to find somewhere else now!

(2) Read a lot of celebrity magazines and look at pictures on the internet to try and project myself away from my current situation and feelings. I am obsessed with magazines (voyeuristic tendencies here...perhaps that is why I have turned to blogging?) and can hunch over the kitchen table and read for hours.

(3) Watch my favourite DVD series for hours, again with the escapism. When I broke up with my ex-boyfriend who I loved very much for two whole years (I think his photograph is still up on this blog somewhere?), I shut myself away in my room and watched episode after episode of "Friends" for three whole days, trying to make myself feel as though everything would be okay in the end. And it was.

(4) Read a book. Right now I am re-reading "Middlesex" by Jeffrey Eugenides, and that is about a hermaphrodite who is trying to cope in a world that is really not very open-minded about owning two sets of genitalia simultaneously. So you see, when I am absorbed in this story, my issues pale in comparison!

(5) Wear geek glasses and cuddle a toy unicorn on my giant futon, which incidentally happens to be a convenient segue into these photographs that my little sister Fern took for the blog! She's only thirteen and wicked cool, obviously...when I was thirteen I was still wearing denim-on-denim, and not in an ironic way. And, um, that last picture is just actually me looking really geeky. My teeth are slightly too large for my mouth...I made her laugh by doing lewd things to the unicorn, and then her laughing made me laugh. My bad.

she's cheer captain and i'm on the bleachers

Hey party animals!

I have been feeling so weird lately! My life is just a confusing tangle of people and events.

I have been drinking a lot of wine and vodka which I love, have gone out to dinner a couple of times which was also lovely, have sent a million text messages on my super cute phone (Nokia E71's are the shit), have caught countless buses in the chilly night full of drunkards and drug addicts and tired public service commuters heading home while my night is only beginning. It's nice right now to think of all the fun times but I'm falling behind on my reading and writing for university, and the deadlines are fast approaching. Uh oh! Head down, bum up (as they say).

I am about to collapse of exhaustion today due to a particularly late night, but I can't until I have completed this stupid assignment! I will make a futile attempt to pamper myself during study time by eating organic peanut butter straight out of the jar and reading my textbooks in bed under a doona (as opposed to upright at my desk). It's the little things in life.

Also I promise to be a little more regular with the blogging...I'm such a slacker these days. Super slack. As in, I just had to rub jojoba oil through my hair to attempt to detangle the matted parts. It is wrong for a girl in the 21st century to have matted hair. And now my scalp feels as though it is on fire. Not my day, man!

i don't want to be friends

I have lost my voice, for real! It's just not happening for me lately, friends.

So now I am stuck at home, and I'm not supposed to talk in case I make it worse. I've attempted to cheer myself up by watching episodes of "Skins," which I love. But then it was the episode where Tony got hit by the bus and he's all pale with blood coming out of his mouth lying in the street, and it just kind of made me upset.

Rolled out of bed and headed out to the Farmer's Market bright and early this morning to check out some fresh produce. My favourite bagel stand were fresh out of onion ones, which I have only recently discovered are the best thing ever, so I cut my losses and purchased some raisin ones instead.I always make sure I have an excellent breakfast, even if I am running late. It is my favourite meal of the day for sure.

I'm so excited right now because I'm seeing some special pals on Monday night to get a little bit wasted and enjoy each others company, which we haven't done for a long time as one of them went away to Holland to be with his girlfriend. And then they broke up and he came back into loving arms. Time to celebrate!

Today I will while away the hours doing my university readings in the public library with my Dad (who is doing his psychology degree), baking some vegetable muffins and attending a birthday party for my little cousin in the evening. I know alcohol is bad if your immune system is in Struggle Town, but surely a couple of wines can't hurt...and perhaps some brandy....?

got me looking so crazy right now

Hello my sweet bloggers,

Please find it in your hearts to forgive and forget if this post is delirious and a waste of time, as I am struggling by today on literally a single hour's sleep; last night I went out to the city with the intention of a nice dinner (at the same restaurant I always go to, FYI), some beans, a couple of noodles, and perhaps a bite of tofu with a certain man friend and twin brother.

Well. Well! The night mutated into something a lot larger and a whole lot more serious than a simple dinner. There was a lot of alcohol. And then there was a lot of dancing. And a little bit of sitting in a skate park at 3am listening to music streaming from a mobile phone, and then realising that my handbag had somehow made the journey to another suburb and I had to go fetch it and get my house keys.

And there was a criminally expensive cab fare of $109.

And then all of a sudden it was 5am and I was lying in bed with my phone resting on the side of my face, mumbling into it occasionally to my companion on the other end of the line, and then I heard snoring and realised that my conversation had well and truly died. So I fell asleep in my clothes. And when I woke up an hour later to get ready for work, I realised with slight horror that I was still in fact drunk. The shame. But totally worth it.

I suffered through eight hours of work today and became the laughing stock of the office because I have lost my voice (voice, if you can hear me, come back, I miss you okay? I didn't mean what I said!) and I sound a little how Lisa Simpson would probably sound if she sucked up a balloon full of helium. Twice.

And now I am cooking some delicious and nutritious mushroom soup to replenish myself and fend for my family. I am exhausted like you would not believe. Going to be weeping into my soup bowl, and will inevitably suffer hideous third degree burns to the face when I accidentally fall asleep face down in the bowl. Oh dear.

(Good story Jane, yeah, I'm fascinated, that's awesome!) (Oh wow, thanks guys, you are so sweet! I'm here all night!). Blah blah!

the district sleeps alone tonight after the bars turn out their lights

Hello darlings!

Well I am feeling much better about everything after an hour and a half of salsa dancing last night, and an hour of sweating at the gym after work today. Sadly, in spite of my well-intentioned exercise, I appear to have re-contracted my viral illness and I have a suspicion as to where I keep picking it up- the temporary administration assistant at my office was informed by her doctor that she had bronchitis, tonsillitis and the flu. A triple threat, people! In the same cubicle! I am fervently popping vitamins and minerals and chewing on vitamin c tablets like candy.

In other exciting (read: mundane) news, I think I am going to have to swap vodka Redbulls and dancing for chamomile tea and textbooks for the next thirteen weeks, as my university-by-correspondence has begun to...well, correspond. With me. The subjects look quite interesting though, especially nutrition. I love talking about food, even if sometimes actually eating it makes me nervous.

And look, I did a little something new with my rat's nest. So it looks a little dirty because I worked out at the gym prior to this picture being taken, I look a little tired from work and my fluorescent ceiling light is extremely unflattering, but I guess that's just how I roll! Do we like the blonde? Do I look like a woman of mystery in my red lipstick? Oh wow, my portable wardrobe looks like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. I should probably screw that loose wheel back in...

Okay, my lovely readers (all two of you!), I have to leave you for the moment. Some of us have study plans to write!

shots shots shots

Hello friends and lovers of the blogosphere. So I've decided to just fuck it all and have a good time! Life's too short to not..uh, fuck it....yep.

I have decided to pick myself up from a decidedly minor setback (now that I actually think about it), dust myself off and continue as per usual as my happiest self. And finally it is Friday! I'm meeting my favourite (well, only) twin brother in the city for dinner at our favourite restaurant spot, hopefully I can sink a couple of sneaky mojitos while everyone is distracted with their various food and juice items, and generally have a good time. Edamame beans and tofu ramen, here I come!

I'm getting my annual haircut tomorrow. And then tomorrow night will be the best party time with my party animal friends whom I love very much. Hopefully with sexy hair. And sexy dancing (that's what your best girlfriends are for, isn't it?). I did a couple of very nice espresso vodka shots at an expensive cocktail bar last week...perhaps a revisit is necessary? I think so!

i know that it is freezing but i think we have to walk

I really miss the way things used to be, before I was worried about men (hurting me) and my job (keeping it) and my weight (stop gaining it) and my money (spend too much). I just can't seem to escape anything now. I miss my friends that all went away to other countries. I miss eating whatever I wanted, without being all fucked up about it. I miss being able to pick myself up and move on. Simple things appear more difficult as I get older, which I'm quite sure is not the way things are supposed to be.

Time to make a change, I guess. I'm just not sure where to start.

want to dance with no pants on

Hello babies!


This will only be a short blog entry as I have to go get ready, but I just wanted to say that I am in the best mood ever. Even though I worked really hard today in the office, I got a lot done, and I am making friends with my new workmates. We play tennis on Wednesdays.

Without further avail: it's time to have a shower, wash my hair with my favourite strawberry shampoo, slap some pretty make-up on, pick out a dress and get out of here! It feels like the night to kiss and cuddle my best friends in public, thrash around until 3am, consume potential litres of my favourite beverage (the ever-popular vodka Red Bull), inappropriately text people that I shouldn't, and go crazy.

....and then turn up at work bright and early tomorrow morning, smelling clean...this is why I hardly ever go out on Thursday nights!

Here is some socks-and-sandals action. These are some Doc Martens that my Mum gave me for my eighteenth birthday (all those years ago), which I absolutely love. I remember it was a really hot summer night and I insisted on wearing them with my floaty floral dress to my birthday party, even though they are winter shoes. She has really great taste. I kind of...don't.

i'm your biggest fan i'll follow you until you love me

So, I apologise for being M.I.A on this blog for a while!

I have had a bit going on, mostly in the form of nights out on the town, moving house yet again (out of the apartment, back to the parents'!), disappointing some people, and contracting some sort of virus which confined me to my bed all of yesterday watching endless episodes of "Skins" and eating endless numbers of carrots. I really couldn't stomach anything else. And to make it worse, I'm eating a carrot right now as I'm typing this! I am seeing the doctor in a couple of hours.

I feel like my life is a bit of an epic fail at the moment (two steps forward, three steps backward!) but I have decided to uncharacteristically look at my situation optimistically and just trust that things will work out in my favour. Fingers crossed for me, fellow bloggers! I've got some stuff to sort out!

Also, P.S: I did a guest blogging spot over at Darling Darling, who I have a lot of blog-love for, so check it out if you fancy. They are just some photographs of my twin brother who reluctantly donned make-up and Doc Martens for me- ahh, sibling love!

Alright. I'm going back to bed to sweat out this sickness. I hope you're all impressed that I still managed to crawl over here and blog for you, like some kind of circus monkey! Just joking. I love you guys.

it's not that i don't like you i'm just at a party

I had my first salsa dancing lesson tonight, and it was great.

I took on this challenge as somewhere in the beginning of 2010 I decided to become a Yes Man (or woman, as it were), and enthusiastically reply in the affirmative to suggestions that I would not normally consider (heads up: this is not going to become some kind of "Year of Yes" blog experiment or anything, as I do not want to steal Danny Wallace's thunder or be sued under copyright laws).

But yes; this is how I have found myself doing vodka and/or tequila shots at parties when I know I despise these drinks from past experience, why I am playing tennis on Wednesday with workmates, why I purchased a tie-dye t-shirt from the hippie store in the mall, and why I am eating seven-day old pasta leftovers as I type this (for any regular readers, if you do indeed exist, yes, it is the previously mentioned tomato and vegetarian sausage dish). Fingers crossed, people. I think it's okay to eat.

But the point is: salsa dancing was pretty fun, although I mistakenly wore Converse high-tops so when it came time to "spin!" I nearly broke an ankle 'cause my foot stuck to the polished wood floor. But it worked out just fine in the end, and although I was very uncoordinated, I was pleased for being brave enough to try something new. Tequila still makes me vomit though.

he's having a smoke and she's taking a drag

I have been quite social the past couple of weeks.


I invited my an old friend over and went all twenties' housewife on her ass, cooking up a delectable feast of wholemeal spaghetti with organic tomato sauce and vegetarian soy sausage. And then I did not have any wine, as I am currently staving off alcohol for a week. It's actually a lot harder than it sounds...a whole week! No wine with dinner, no casual beers after work, no gin straight from the bottle when you can't sleep at night...jokes, people! As if I would drink beer after work.

Additionally, today I sucked it up, stopped being such a pale unmuscled wuss and hit the gym. I personally like the weights, as I can grunt and sweat whilst humming Survivor's "Eye Of The Tiger" and glaring at my "competition," i.e the chubby middle-ager desperately trying to lost fifteen kilos on the stationary bicycle. Yeah that's right. Don't look at me!!

Anyway. I think you have earned these photographs from my twentieth birthday nightclubbing celebrations, which was basically a big steaming pile of awesome, complete with Jagerbombs, running through some sprinklers, a minor fight with my twin brother and cigars at midnight.

Photographs donated by Jacki.

i don't care who you are in this bar

I am burning the candle at both ends right now, but I'm quite enjoying it. I have been:

Listening to a colossal amount of dance music, drinking litres of Red Bull to keep up, eating mushrooms and dolmades (rice wrapped in vine leaves...from a can), going out to my favourite restaurant (they serve the best edamame beans, with chilli and garlic), nightclubbing until 5am with my crazy party animal friends, drinking cocktails we can't afford, running barefoot through wet grass at 4am, laughing, regretting my hideously late nights the next morning at my office job, drinking green tea to get through the slumps, hanging at my parents,' sleeping on their couch, reading a million fashion magazines, watching "Skins" (which a certain lovely person presented for my birthday gift, which was absolutely perfect), awaiting the onset of all-night study and essays, texting up a storm (also known as "crippling phone bill) on my new keyboard phone.

i'll be your mirror

What's up homies? Well. I know from my blog entries it kind of seems like I'm an alcoholic bimbo, but that would be wrong. And also judgmental, you assholes!

Anyway...in actuality I am working towards a university degree (by correspondence, as not to aggravate my social ineptitude on an actual campus, with other people). Am actually getting a little excited about university starting up again this semester, as it will give me something to think about in my spare time so I don't accidentally go insane.

Although I'm not studying any English literature classes this semester (which will feel a bit weird), I am definitely looking forward to studying Nutrition and Art History. Provided I can juggle two classes alongside full-time work and salsa dancing. Ooh, I want to learn French as well, and purchase those language CD's, and a little microphone to speak into...

Well. That was a little bit of a spiel. But it's cool for you guys to know that there is more to me, am not a life waster or anything like that. Alright. I'm going out to grab some noodles for dinner.

it's my wife and it's my life

I stayed out with some party people until the sun came up last night. It is the strangest thing when the nightclubs begin to close in the early hours of the morning; they really should be open all hours to accommodate scoundrels like us, who freeze in the brisk morning air in flimsy clothing designed for hot sweaty nightclubs, close contact and frenzied dancing. We caught the bus home in the morning, delicate stomachs and all, alongside all the weekend workers heading in for the morning shift.

I need some sleep. I'm alone in my bedroom, again (sometimes a sharehouse can be a surprisingly lonely affair when you don't feel you fit in all that well). Listening to The Velvet Underground's "Heroin."

Another photograph of me! Aren't you all just so lucky. I need a haircut.

we won't stop until somebody calls the cops

Good morning.

Well, it appears that I have exhausted myself from last night's crazy adventures. Woke up with a sore neck (fell asleep upright on the couch earlier by accident) and bathed in sweat (overdosed on Redbull). So today I aspire to sleep, eat some fruit and a corn cob that I've been saving for a special occasion, read some much neglected novels and watch episode after episode of "Gossip Girl." It's so calming!

Also family dinner tonight, which will be fun. These days, if I don't go out for dinner, I don't eat. I really should get used to that "regular groceries" business I hear so much about.

let's get it started

It is Friday: the holiest of holy days now that I have a proper office job. So I am going to go out to a club, wear a little dress, big boots, smear some make-up on my eyelids and get messed up. It really is the most fun way to forget all my problems for one night.

i'm not a real doctor but i am a real worm

I figure that the celebrations and general looseness of the festive season can be reasonably extended until the end of January, when it is my birthday, because there is really no point in celebrating the new year and then only have a couple of weeks gap before the next celebration. Useless. So, until the beginning of February, I have decided that I am allowed indulge in my vices, which may or may not include:

(1) Drinking a lot of wine and getting quietly tiddly by myself in the corner until I eventually fall asleep and wake up with the driest mouth on Earth.

(2) Purposely getting hyped up on chocolate coated coffee beans and cans of Redbull before being disappointed when I can't sleep very well, and then waking up with my heart still racing.

(3) Spending all my dollars on clothing that I love but can never really bring myself to wear because they are too beautiful and delicate and unique and imagine if some asshole carelessly spilled a raspberry vodka down the front of that extremely lovely extremely expensive beige dress? Just no.

- Eating a single egg for dinner because I just got home from work and I have no groceries except for a crinkly old carrot in the fridge that I should really have thrown out a week ago but it's the only vegetable on my shelf so it's staying there for aesthetic reasons.