we sure are cute for two ugly people

Hey babies,

So I didn't get the garden flat. SAD TIMES!! as it was really cute and almost perfect for me, but I have been forced to hold my chin up in this situation and soldier on, as neither my colleagues, family or friends will tolerate my complaining. I emailed some girls renting out a share flat and I'm meeting them tomorrow, so hopefully they will turn out to be completely awesome and we will fall in deep flatmate-love and I will have somewhere to live.

Tonight I am heading out to my favourite pub in the city as I have important secret business to attend to (this secret business has absolutely nothing to do with this blog, so I really don't know why I am censoring myself). As it is an important...thing, I will be wearing my skin-tight fondly nicknamed "Lady Gaga" dress (unfortunately people in my town aren't very experimental with fashion, so anything variating from a singlet and jeans is both shocking and offensive to the majority of the population). It is grey and black with shoulder pads, panels on the torso and a zipper down the front somewhat like a wetsuit. I will be teaming this with black liquid-look leggings. I may or may not stand out in the beer garden.

In other news, I attended another awesome house party that lasted three days (with the same crew as last time). We trashed the place, and then had to grumpily clean it up after. As there were hunger-inducing substances involved, naturally we ate our way through enough food to create two garbage bags-full of rubbish. And naturally, I jumped into someone's backyard pool, in my underwear, in the first few days of a freezing Canberra winter. Hello hypothermia! I stayed in there for a good fifteen minutes, convinced my buddies that it was a good idea, and spent the rest of the night swathed in other people's hooded jumpers, track pants and beanies. I left my clothes outside in the rain overnight. Epic fail.

These photographs from the Fully Sick House Party are all shitty because they're from someone's iPhone. I just always worry that my expensive camera with get trodden on, stolen, burnt or thrown in a pool. I don't really know if you guys are interested in photographs of my parties and stuff that aren't really "good" photos, but I like to have them here as a record for myself. So yeah- suck on the crapness!

standing in the way of control

Hey friends and lovers and internet paedophiles (I'm too old now, suckers!),

Overall, I think I like the way 2010 has launched itself for me. I hope everyone else is feeling good about it too. I mean, there are good parts and bad parts of course, but I have developed a better attitude about it all.

I find out whether I get my little granny flat tomorrow (I would be the best tenant they ever had!). And I have a dinner date with someone adorable and lovely to look forward to, who just called me "pretty girl" in a text message. And I passed reverse parallel parking in my driving lessons!

So see, really, things are okay. The vodka helps. And black nail polish. And sugar free Red Bull. And nice people to kiss. And friends that you can call up whenever you feel like it, who will give you good advice without judgement. And sparkly shoes. And tofu pumpkin pie in the fridge.

Over and out. Sorry about the weird entry, I am about to collapse from exhaustion, and I'm on a different computer because my lovely grandparents are staying in my bedroom. So, yeah. Bruised legs and feet below for your viewing pleasure!

i really miss what really did exist when i held your throat so tight

Hey y'all,

Sorry I've been M.I.A for a while. I have a lot on my plate right now. And also, I've just been super slack. And our internet went over its download limit, and we couldn't have internet for eight days, but I am using it now, and I'm not actually sure if the eight days is over yet. Oh well. Excuse time over! OVA!

Things that have been going down:

(1) A potential new place to call home. I have inspected the property, I liked it, they liked me, and now they just have to check out references and compare me to other potential tenants. I will know for sure whether I'm in on Wednesday. Fingers crossed for me. It is a tiny little garden flat in someone's backyard for a ludicrous price, but I have decided that I want to live alone. And so it will be my own little (emphasis on "little") bachelor pad, and I can get silly on wine and watch "Sex And The City" in my underwear without being judged. And then maybe fall over, crack my head on the kitchen counter and slowly bleed to death until somebody finds my decaying body a week later, because I will have no housemate to find me prior to that.

(2) I have met someone new, who I think is quite nice. My love life has been a little all over the place lately, and as a result I have come out kind of sketchy and weird, but I think this could be good. I will say more when I know more. What I will say is that we sneaked a bottle of wine into a cinema and got progressively drunk in public watching "Kick-Ass" together, which was amazing. Even more so when there were two of every character.

(3) The weirdest but simultaneously most awesome house party that I have ever been to. There was a DJ, strobe lights and an awesome sound system. They were filming some kind of anti-drug advertisement, so we were kind of encouraged to get super trashed (they supplied an icy bathtub full of alcohol) and dance like crazy. But also we were being directed, so this guy was like "DANCE! You're on ECSTASY!" and we all had to jump and shit. Really surreal. And there were people having sex in the bathroom, and passed out in the lounge room, and running around outside in a park. A couple of us ended up on the floor tripping out, watching the strobe lights through our fingers to the sweet strains of "Kids" by MGMT. Blew my mind.

(4) No university work whatsoever. I feel bad for neglecting it, but my new job is extremely stressful and when I get home I just want to go to bed straight away, or go out and see my friends and just forget it all. I really need to do something, but dusting off the textbook and starting to read is the hardest step.

mad as hell and usually drunk but i love her like no other

 Hello darlings,

We have made it to Friday! High fives all round! I am feeling so good right now. My mood goes up and down like a rollercoaster but I really do adore the highs. Lately my life consists of working a lot of overtime in my insurance job (it's dark in the morning when I arrive and it's dark when I leave in the evening!), partying as much as I humanly can, hanging at my twin brother's slightly grimy share house, reading a lot of fashion magazines, not doing much of my university reading, drinking a lot of green tea and taking eight vitamin pills a day just to stay alive.

In other frivolous news, I have also been enjoying playing around painting my nails (at the moment they are a pale shell pink), wearing extremely smudgy eyeliner on purpose, teasing my hair, baking with my Mum on the weekends, eating healthily (lots of vegetables, water, plain yoghurt, fruit and bran) and wearing thick woolly legwarmers with my tight office dresses and heels. My shins get cold, alright?

Tonight I am heading out with my male buddies exclusively, as I have become their wing woman of sorts. I won't complain because they are super fun company, I can be as crude as I like, and they happily share their clothes/illicit substances/food/alcohol/advice/jokes. They are picking me up in about an hour- for now I'm listening to old "Kings of Leon" songs that bring back bad ass memories and gnawing on a piece of Parmesan cheese. It's going to be a good night.

Here are some photographs from a couple of nights ago. What's up, abnormally large naked gap between my eyebrows in the last picture? How you doin'?

you should be honoured by my lateness

So, the thing that I alluded to in the previous blog entry turned out to be an epic fail! But it's okay because it is Easter, and with Easter comes a long chilled-out weekend: awesome. Things that I did today:

(1) Chewed the ears off the large chocolate bunny which I found this morning sitting on my television, staring at me as I slept. Mildly creepy, but I have rendered it pretty harmless now. Also food-related, I made some delicious bran muffins and ate them for breakfast with Greek yoghurt and honey. And then my Mum made some coffee with the little machine, and it was really strong and bitter and nice.

(2) Went to the Farmer's Market and picked up twelve onion bagels! SCORE! I go to the food market every Sunday, even if I've been out until 5am the night before.

(3) Woke up at 3am with a shock to my mobile phone loudly ringing right next to my head, and had a conversation with someone who I think is an asshole but also keeps me amused. Seriously, who calls someone at that heinous time two nights in a row? Assholes, that's who.

(4) Used this new hair product I purchased which makes my hair really light and fluffy.

(5) Watched episodes of "30 Rock" with my little sister. It has been a very quiet long weekend for me as my best friends went on a mini man-holiday and left me behind. But sometimes it's nice to have a quiet one, and go shopping with your Mum, and buy some new shoes, and watch DVD's, and bake stuff in the kitchen. Hope everyone else is having a nice Easter. Just don't make yourself sick on chocolate like I always do.