Wednesday, 30 December 2009

when you were young

Well, I have established myself in my new residence. There was a lot of sweat, some tears, and only a minimal amount of blood (my dad pulled a splinter out of his finger halfway through the move). I now have a queen-sized futon, which is huge and luxurious and flat, and a clothes rack for all my pretty dresses, and today I even purchased a desk for my laptop and television. There is also a tiny kitten that is unfortunately also a psychopath...I was putting mascara on this morning in the bathroom and it was fascinated, and it tried to grab the brush with its greedy little paws, and I got it on my cheek. Living the dream, my friends. Living the dream.

I have insane cravings for junk food right now (chocolate, potato chips!) but all I have on my allocated shelf are Vitawheats and gluten-free muesli, so that will just have to do. No, wait; I have enlisted my companions to collect an ice-cream for me from the cinema when they I should have it around midnight when they get home. Excellent.

Sunday, 27 December 2009

baby please come home

I hope everyone had a great Christmas!

In the family tradition, I ate way too much and fell asleep for a colossal four hours on Christmas Day before waking up groggily and eating some more pudding and brandy custard for late dinner. Totally awesome. Also super sweet to have my grandparents here.

Boxing Day was spent thankfully not working (quit my retail job, son!) and instead spent lounging around happily with my family. We migrated to a relative's house where there was an abundance of leftover food, biscuits, cake, coffee and wine, so we stayed for quite a while chatting and laughing. It was raining, and we were outside on their lovely big wooden deck where I had the best coffee of my life!...I just felt I had to tell someone about it.

Then Mitchell came over and we made ourselves sick on leftover trifle and custard, and watched "Dexter" episodes until midnight. Overall, I would say that the festive season has been a great success.

Also, stay tuned: the next phase of my life is about to begin- I'm moving out, for realz.

Thursday, 24 December 2009

they're spreading blankets on the beach

It's Christmas Eve! Tonight my plans may or may not include: eating a delicious dinner with my family, getting slightly wasted at the dinner table without anyone noticing (sorry Grandma, it's a tough time of year!), lying on the floor with music on in the dark,writing and drawing in my journal, wearing a Santa hat, thinking about my current situation- the ups and the downs! And making a new life plan...

This picture is from last Christmas, which seems like only yesterday...

Monday, 21 December 2009

i can't find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful

I have been having all kinds of fun lately.

I've been working some crazy hours in the lead-up to Christmas, spending my super precious spare time with the most excellent people ever, going to some parties and eating some seafood dinners, and staying out way too late way too often. But I'm having fun and that's what counts...a can of Red Bull never hurt anyone. Except that guy who drank seven cans and died from a heart attack, but that's just kind of overdoing it.

These pictures are from Mitchell's party the other night...hello Jodie! Hello Florence! Hello bottle of tequila!! Well. It is well and truly time to party...when I'm just too tired to care, the only thing left to do is shots with strangers wearing a was a Mexican theme.

Thursday, 17 December 2009

when i press the keys it all gets reversed

I want a bottle of wine and a packet of cigarettes...and it's only midday. So much to think about lately when all I really want to do is go to parties, drink too much and not know where I'm going to wind up in the morning.

Tuesday, 15 December 2009

this is when i forget to breathe and all the things i scripted they sound unfounded

I am in a crazy state right now...

I'm just sitting here in my dark room listening to Death Cab For Cutie and seriously thinking about things. It's almost as though I'm living in this completely surreal dream right now and I can't tell what's real or not, or what I've done and said or what I've only ever imagined. I'm scared, but I'm just letting it wash all over me...

Monday, 14 December 2009

my life is about to go through some big changes:

(1) I am moving to the apartment next week (spending tonight quietly watching television with my family and browsing through futon websites).

(2) I nervously quit my job and am starting an insurance job at the beginning of next year.

(3) My love life has been turned upside-down and shaken violently...

(4) One of my best friends in the world (pictured) is going to Mexico for six months and I will miss him SO badly.

(5) I am turning twenty extremely soon, meaning that I will no longer be a teenager and will have to stop behaving like a scumbag. I seriously have to clean my teeth every day? People won't laugh if I make a poo joke?

(6) The year 2009 is coming to a close extremely fast.

Everything is's overwhelming. I'm on such a rollercoaster of happy and sad right now. I have no idea what the new year will bring but I hope it's something good...? I have a feeling it could be.

Thursday, 10 December 2009

movin' on up

So it appears that I am moving out in approximately two weeks. I will miss my little sister a lot. Whatever will I do without the dance-offs whilst doing the dishes, or being able to give her the finger across the table at a crowded family dinner in a restaurant?

She's the best.

Tuesday, 8 December 2009

men becoming wolves

I went to the cinema and saw "Paranormal Activity" with Jamal and the hype is true: it is really fucking disturbing!! In a good way. You want to keep watching out of morbid curiousity, but you don't want to become more frightened than you already are because you might wet your pants, and then it's just kind of awkward.

Also I kind of wanted to vomit...but that was probably caused more by the shaky handheld-camera style of filming they used rather than gore (of which there was little). And also I had consumed half a litre of apple and mint juice just before watching, which may have been a contributing factor to the nausea. But enough about vomit!

 This is my "business time" dress. I wear it when I need to be taken seriously. Obviously these photographs do not illustrate the seriousness of the dress, but I practically have a hernia from coughing and I'm delirious from my Codeine tablets so just whatever okay. It's a nice dress.

I am so busy right now, and I am about to get much busier...exciting news coming up! In the meantime, I am going to drink some green tea and watch "30 Rock," as I have contracted some sort of chest infection and am taking some recovery time. For Christmas, I would like Tina Fey's brain transplanted into my head. Too weird?

Okay well I have work to do. See you later bitches.

Thursday, 3 December 2009

are you the one

All my frivolity over the past few weeks has finally caught up with me: I am sick. And my doctor's appointment is running an hour overtime! AN HOUR!

Whatever. I like cough drops anyway.

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

boys don't cry

I haven't been home for seriously about a week...been drinking wine, playing vicious games of Monopoly with friends, watching movies, telling ghost stories, going to bed late and waking up early, taking photographs, making phone calls, learning to drive, having picnics, and of course, working. Aside from all the boring things (work, doctor's visits, some sleepless nights) I am having a pretty good time at the moment finishing off 2009.

It's December! I'm seeing Christmas lights in the streets, hearing Christmas jingles and smelling pudding in the bakeries. And this morning I ate my first cherry for the season. I think I will buy myself a car for Christmas...some jewellry...some shoes...a dress. Except that soon my bank account will be drained and I will be eating out of other people's garbage bins to survive.

Thursday, 26 November 2009

home is wherever i'm with you

Ah, the sweet beginnings of summer: wearing the same clothes for three days in a row, eating fruit for breakfast lunch and dinner, going indoor rock-climbing in thirty-eight degree heat and nearly fainting, swimming in a river, staying up late watching James Bond films, drinking beer. I'm loving it right now. Except tomorrow my weekend is over and I must don my uniform and perform my retail duties for another week, and then I do not love it so much.

I'm going to go eat a mango, maybe have a nap. And then barbecue tonight!

Tuesday, 24 November 2009

he bit dakota fanning on the face

Hi all,

I have been doing exams, working, seeing some friends, feeling exhausted, swallowing vitamins, drinking beer and eating ice-cream.

Also, I, uh, taught myself how to upload bigger pictures. See? It's my face, UP REALLY CLOSE. I do apologise, there is still a lot of learning to be had.

So...some stuff is going to be happening soon! I'm working on getting my drivers licence, and then I will need to purchase a car. I'm also moving out in a month so I will need to purchase some furniture. I smell an empty bank account on the horizon.

And right now it is coming into the "festive" season, which means a lot of fresh prawns and white wine, purchasing Christmas presents, eating fruit mince pies which I pretty much look forward to all year, and generally having fun. I plan to see my friends as much as possible (Keith: BUY A PHONE), wear my cutest summer clothes and jewellry, and enjoy the last moments living with my family before I fuck off to my new apartment.

I hope 2010 will be a good year....only a couple of months to go...

Sunday, 22 November 2009

lizard fever


My Sociology exam is first thing in the morning tomorrow and I am four chapters behind and I have had approximately five hours of sleep over the past two days, as well as working, and fuck!! I am going to eat so much almond nut spread tonight while I study, I just know it...damn it.

On the (comparatively small) upside, I have begun the process of learning to use my Canon SLR and I had my first driving lesson, so the ball is rolling on both a new hobby and a vital life skill. It's about time.

So. I am a bit fucked up now for a few reasons but I don't really feel like disclosing. Instead, I think I'll show you photographs that I took of some lizards in the Botanic Gardens. You can click on the pictures to enlarge, which is kind of cool because you can see their weird scales and ears. I don't know how to make the pictures big yet- can anyone help?

I had better hit the books again, even though my eyes are stinging from reading and all I want to do is sleep. What a mess.

Thursday, 19 November 2009


This Canon digital SLR now belongs to me...MADNESS. It's an EOS 400D, and it will be completely amazing if I can learn how to use it properly. I'm pretty much in love with it...keep touching a little pet or something.

Thanks Jamal (even though you don't read this blog)! It means a lot to me. Keith, if you have internet right now, and are using your precious internet time to read my somewhat trivial blog, what kind of camera do you use? Also, you are being enlisted as part of my assistance team to help me learn. OK? OK.

Tuesday, 17 November 2009

when i held your throat so tight

Today I booked my very first ever driving lesson for 3pm tomorrow. So this could be goodbye. Anyway. I am going off to hit up some Indian food and watch television on the couch. I did a lot of study today.

Hey bronze Doc Martens, sorry I never wear you. This summer it will be different I swear.

long live luella, even though they have no money to make clothes anymore which i find really sad and also a waste

So I know this is, like, so totally last year's collection, but you know what? I don't give a shit! That doesn't make it any less perfect.

I want to eat, sleep, drink, smoke, sleep, study, read, and get into a punch-up wearing Luella. Totally bad-ass.

Luella S2008RTW
(photographs from

Monday, 16 November 2009

i'm worst at what i do best and for this gift i feel blessed

I like to: read magazines, take photographs, cuddle and kiss, smoke a cigarette sometimes, go to the gym, watch DVD's, eat a bagel, wear interesting clothing, take showers, write a long email, drink wine, a solid sleep.

I don't like to: feel unwanted, eat unhealthy foods, get sunburnt, have nightmares, wear tacky jewellry, chase people, cry, get a headache.

Saturday, 14 November 2009

tastes just like cherry cola

Lately I have been:

(1) Watching the "Karate Kid" films. Ralph Macchio is off-the-planet gorgeous.

(2) Trying to save my money (which means eating a meagre portion of salad and an apple for lunch every day, which is okay by me anyway) for when I move out again/purchase a car/pay for driving lessons.

(3) Swallowing an entire handful of mixed-bag vitamins and minerals every morning, just for fun (Vitamin D? Why not! Spirulina? Sure! Garlic + Horseradish? Disgusting, but I'll take it!).

(4) Falling off the social radar entirely. Tried to make friends with this cat outside, but it freaked and ran as soon as I clicked the door open...later found out that this behaviour was due to the fact that my Dad had previously chased it out of the yard with a bottle of citrus spray for trying to hunt the pet guinea pigs. Okay.

(5) Drinking some beer.

Thursday, 12 November 2009

i cursed myself for being surprised that this didn't play like it did in my mind

Instead of writing my essay which is due in a couple of days, I am gazing at Death Cab For Cutie video clips on YouTube. Ben Gibbard is just amazing...I have goosebumps.

I want something amazing to happen to me. Something life-changing. In a good way of course (I don't want to lose my legs in an accident or anything).

Come on!

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

new york i love you but you're bringing me down

I have forced myself into isolation for a few days in order to finish this essay. Also, got my hair cut today- all the ratty ends are gone (down the front of the hairdresser's low-cut shirt). It feels soft...

I want someone to cuddle me and bring me chocolate and stroke my freshly trimmed hair and actually care that I haven't been out of this room for 12 hours. Hello! I could be dead in here, choked on an ice cube or something!


Tuesday, 10 November 2009

like a rat in a cage

It's going to be the new year in a couple of months. I will be twenty years old, and I want to start getting things sorted so I will be prepared for next year (whatever it brings). So, starting from today, I am going to:

  • Dispose of any junk clogging up my bedroom. I'm moving out soon and I can only fit the bare minimum in my new apartment. I will only keep the most basic of possessions: my bed, my desk, my computer, my best clothing and shoes, a select few books and magazines that I cannot bear to part with, my journal, my face cream, my handbag, my mobile phone, my favourite perfume, and only the most prized of my jewellry.
  • Strip back my wardrobe. Reduce it entirely. I want a capsule wardrobe, where every item matches with every other item, and I will like them all. Simplistic. Audrey Hepburn totally knows what I'm talking about.
  • Continue being pescetarian. I feel healthier and slimmer this way, and fresher. Meat is really heavy. It's so cheap ordering vegetables over steak at restaurants as well. Plus, I just kind of like the confusion surrounding the notion of being pescetarian. Adds some mystery.
  • Write this English essay, study for my Sociology exam, and finish what I started this semester. It would be weak to give up now, two-thirds of the way through.
  • Do whatever the fuck I want.

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

i'm on holidays

How I have begun my holidays:

(1) Went to a Halloween party where Kasha played and dressed up as a corpse bride with my buddies, a cat (Catwoman?) and a witch.

(2) Hung around with my ex-housemate Sam. Watched boarding-school girl movies, drank lime-infused beer, ate some popcorn, fell asleep.

(3) Spent a colossal five hours yesterday watching Season 2 of "Gossip Girl" on my tiny television.

(4) Purchased TWO magazines, costing me a total of: an out of control addiction which I need to learn to control before I move out in December, when money will be tight (hey guys, can I come over for dinner occasionally?).

(5) Went to the horse racing with the girls. Hot and sweaty but totally worth it to strut our stuff on the catwalk at the fashion parade.

Tomorrow I will wake up sweaty and flustered and tangled in my nightie, jump into Jo's car and sweat it out at the gym. Then, I will see my ex-baby, and perhaps we can eat some lunch. I still always look forward to seeing him. Sad?

Tuesday, 27 October 2009

i think we're superstars

Well. It has been a tumultuous few days...

(1) My (ex)baby got in a bad car accident. His car is destroyed like a tin can. I love him so much and haven't let him go since it happened- constantly by his side, bringing him breakfast/lunch/dinner (he can't walk properly right now), wearing his t-shirt, giving him medicine, cuddling him incessantly. Maybe I should have been tougher about it, but it was a really big fright and he's kind of injured.

(2) I'm moving out of home end of December! It's a really cute apartment. Roommates will include my old pal Jo, tattooed/chain-smoking landlord Emma and her relatively quiet boyfriend Jose (pronounced "Hoe-zay"). I'm very excited; it'll be mostly a girl house, so I'd expect some excessive wine consumption (at least on my part), outfit appraisals, sharing accessories and "Sex And The City" box sets instead of "Walker Texas Ranger" (which incidentally I find hilarious). And there won't be little shaved whiskers all over the bathroom sink! Also...the apartment has a balcony!! As listed in previous "things that I want" blog entry. Everything's coming up Fifi...

I'm so exhausted from the high of moving out plans and the low of the car accident. I think tonight will be spent in bed with my copy of "Frankenstein" by Mary Shelley (essay due soon), a cup of hot lemon water (cleansing for my tired skin), and maybe my faithful "Friends" DVD's.

I'm as fragile as fuck right now from worrying so much. And I miss him already!

Sunday, 25 October 2009

you just know

I badly want to move out again. I'm getting a bit big for this family home, I think.

Anyone looking for a roommate?